Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23
Season 1
Episode 4: Making Rent...
I've finally decided that what I think would make this show better for me would be more James Van der Beek. But since the show is cancelled I guess my opinion no longer matters, not that it would have anyway. So we are off. June describes her love of New York and how she has money problems because everything is so expensive. She wonders why these lady teases her with crab cakes she proceeds to give to her dog. Then we get to hear inside the random ladies head! I thought this was weird and out of character for the show since the rest of the narration is clearly by June.
Chloe is also facing money troubles but rather than work (she can't possibly have a job, she's always around and too crazy to have one) she is trying to run the roommate scam again. Then a German flight attendant comes in and acts like she lives there but it's just another one of Chloe's scams. As Chloe and June argue about the morality of these scams June states that there are NO grey areas. June seems way more naïve to me now how can someone be living on their own and not consider there to be grey areas in life. Although Chloe's scams are wrong.
Chloe goes to borrow money from James who she has already borrowed from many times that Luther (I thought he was the tailor but apparently he handles the finances too) refuses to lend her money. James van Der Beek is wearing these uber tight jeans that they call Beek jeans. He got this deal because he is on Dancing with the Stars. I had no knowledge of him landing a DWTS gig so I'm wondering if Netflix has these episodes out of order or maybe I'm supposed to play along.
June goes to church with the coffee guy. It's a Korean church she says its like home because she was raised Baptist (so was I and I would not be comfortable there mostly because they were all speaking Korean). She gives the pastor jam and then has a brilliant idea to sell her jam to make money. She actually said "Jam is the answer" and then the pastor asked to touch coffee guys hair. This is not even close to the weirdest part of the episode.
Cue the cute Chloe and June jam making montage. At least I thought it was cute until what happens next. Eli (pervy neighbor dude) told Chloe to set up cameras and make a fetish video to post online of them making jam. This is how they were making money of the jam. June then notices the cameras which are EVERYWHERE and not hid at all. How did she not notice the over 10 cameras blatantly positioned around her apartment, we will never know! I'm guessing because she's the most naïve person ever.
June has jam to sell at the coffee shop and Eli actually left his apartment and we see him not behind the window!!! But he confiscates all of June's jam because it was filthy when she made it. Chloe and James go visit his billboard which is badly or perfectly placed depending on who you ask. A meatball billboard is right next to it. June uses stalker neighbor, Robin, to pay her rent by ensuring Robin can get close to Chloe. It's a pretty sweet deal for June.
Now everyone is gathered at a party at The Beek's apartment because his ill placed billboard actually made him more famous in certain circles. I'm sensing a theme of James doing something bad or something that others would find awful but it miraculously turns around to bring him good luck. At the party stuff goes down Chloe says the money she was going to earn was going to pay both their rent, there's a scene where Chloe cusses people out and they blur out her mouth (I have no clue why), June confesses to helping Robin stalk for money, and the girls make up. Chloe's cool with paying Robin to stalk and Robin falls off a railing Chloe loosened to sue James when she fell. Everyone is happy! Then we have the end scene in which Eli is bathing in the jam while talking to his grandma on the phone. I found it disturbing but thought it was funny when they mentioned the show Castle and how it was getting better. But that was really just a plug for another ABC show. Nicely done ABC nothing like blatant name dropping of how your own show is getting better!!
That's all for this episode! What did you think? What could've saved this show or was it perfect the way it was?
By the way I think Van Der Jeans would've been much catchier than Beek Jeans, just saying!
-Allie
